Putting the focus on You.

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Thank you for being here.

I am very grateful for your patience with me, I have been writing a great deal and will be sharing more with you very soon.

But first  a bit about me and why I need your help to get to know You and Your Needs better.

Me.

A nerd at heart.  I have a deep fascination with the human body and what makes us the incredible beings we are.  I have gone back to university to become qualified in Functional and Lifestyle Medicine and Integrative care to work alongside  GPs and Physicians.

I’m  passionate about giving back the knowledge that I have learned over the last three years and share what I’ve read about this brave new world of nutritional science that we are entering.

 

You.

I would like to turn the spotlight on the most important aspect of why I write, why I continue to study and why I am here now – YOU.

I’m thinking about writing a practical program on the science behind achieving a healthy lifestyle and a HOW-TO type guide to help you achieve your health and weight goals.

 

Why this is needed right now.

Research has repeatedly shown that ‘No One Size Fits All’.

This is why following the latest fashionable diet to become that lean/ripped/curvaceous model you see in magazines or on Instagram is seriously flawed and NOT sustainable.  This may sound like a romantic notion, but we are individuals, we are unique and there is most certainly no-one out there quite like you.

My mission with this program is to help empower you with tools to reconnect you with your body and your food choices.  Helping you find your best health and weight along the way.

This program will take you through:

  • The science behind health and weight  in a way that will help you understand the inner workings of the body; the why and how we put on and lose weight.
  • The health implications associated with weight and how we can make a difference with simple steps to make sustainable change.
  • We talk about food and lifestyle strategies that you can tailor to yourself to find the right weight and body shape for you.
  • Perhaps the most important outcome I want to achieve is reconnecting YOU with your body and your optimal health… starting where you are now.

QUESTIONS FOR YOU:

What has been your No.1 health or weight challenge?

Do you spend a good part of your day worrying about your weight or health?

-If yes what do you worry about ?

-What have you tried already ?

Do you feel that a program like this would be of value to you?

I’m super curious, love talking and hearing about the challenges we face.

I read every email and look forward to hearing from you.

vaishalimehmi@yahoo.co.uk

 

 

Medical Disclaimer:
The information on this website is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. 
All advice should be discussed with your GP/ healthcare provider if you  are unsure or have a medical condition. 

 

 


Blueprint for life? Learning to manage our core human needs.

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Growing up in a society where qualities of independence, maturity and responsibility are highly valued it has always felt like a weakness to admit vulnerability.

In a culture that prides itself on working hard and long hours, wearing high levels of stress as a badge of achievement;  admitting that we have needs has a sense of giving in to being flawed or weak.

Understanding how our brain has grown and evolved has been pivotal in my realisation that we do have very real needs that cannot be ignored and must be managed if we are to work towards achieving a healthy body and mind.

Rick Hanson, author of Resilient, outlines these three core needs and their evolutionary origins.

PRIMARY NEED FOR SAFETY – This is thought to have come from needing to stay alive and run away from predators and when met gives us feelings of being secure.

SECONDARY NEED FOR SATISFACTION– This perhaps evolved to give us the motivation to get things done and to achieve feelings of success.

FINALLY OUR NEED FOR CONNECTION– This is a connection with ourselves, our self-worth and connection to our community.  The feelings of being loved, understood and heard.

These needs have emerged from the progressive evolution of our primitive brain over the last 600 million years.

The oldest part of our brain is the Brainstem,  known as our REPTILIAN or Lizard brain; it is primarily concerned with raw basic survival.

The next structure to evolve from the brainstem is the Subcortex known as our MAMMALIAN or Hamster brain; wired to seek satisfaction.

On top of both these structures lies our crowning glory- the Neocortex, known as our PRIMATE or Monkey brain; concerned in particular with social connection.

During the flow of our day, there are many different situations that can easily threaten our wellbeing- if we let them.  They evoke various emotional reactions which, if we take a moment to be witness to them, are designed to show us where the work is to be done.

3 STEPS TO RECOGNISE, ACCEPT AND MANAGE OUR NEEDS

STEP 1:

Name the emotion to yourself, be it anger or feeling unhappy, lonely or unheard.

There is a lot of work written about the power of witnessing and naming an emotion as it arises instead of pushing it back down…guaranteed to resurface again when you least expect or want it to.

This is my work in progress. Painful and difficult they may be, to not run away from those emotions but to name them and through awareness, stay with them.

Incredibly difficult to do and very easy to write about; I know deep down I can only teach this to our boys through my own self-practice and discipline.

They give me plenty of opportunities to experience a wide range of emotions and for them to see me PAUSE, NAME and STAY with the moment without an instant reaction is,  I feel, the biggest gift of emotional wellbeing I can give them.

But my goodness it is so hard. I am failing often but I can happily say I am making progress as I keep in mind what I want to achieve:

To develop an emotional intelligence that both boys can witness and mirror for themselves.

STEP 2:

Read More


Press Pause: Just 3 steps to calm

 

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STEP ONE:  PRESS PAUSE & FEEL

This is the most underrated step but in my opinion- The hardest.

Here’s the situation:

You are late for work, you didn’t sleep very well,  you spill coffee down your suit in a rush, your boys are fighting over football stickers and to top that off your puppy runs around the kitchen with wet muddy paws.

It is in this moment that your nervous system is mounting a response, most likely from your fight or flight sympathetic system sending a cocktail of stress hormones designed to raise your blood pressure to help you attack or run away.

It is in THIS moment that you have a choice.  This is the juiciest part when you realise there is actually a gap, a moment…an opportunity.

Just feel the rush of the emotions going on in your body. We so often run away or don’t want to feel our emotions, they then get pushed down only to resurface later, this time stronger and now demanding your attention.

I challenge you, as I do myself in these moments, to PRESS PAUSE and just FEEL what comes up in that moment…is it anger, pain, resentment?

 

You then have a choice to either :

REACT  OR   REFLECT  Which will you choose?

 

If you can get past this step and pause even for 20 seconds you are winning.  You are overcoming the inbuilt programming that we all have.

Every time you do this you will be able to pause a little more and even maybe move to STEP 2.

 

STEP 2: LOVE YOURSELF ENOUGH TO OFFER YOURSELF WORDS OF SUPPORT

Instead of saying or thinking to yourself:

‘Why me?

‘I should have been quicker, better, more organised, should have woken up earlier…’

You start blaming yourself and everything around you,

Think :

‘I have great coping skills, I can do this’

According to the fabulous  Marisa Peer, the quality of our self-talk is very important in building our inner self-worth and self-esteem.

 

Positive self talk  calms your nervous system and tells your brain that things can relax again… it’s ok,   you really DO have this.

Your brain can then go from SURVIVAL PANIC mode

to the calmer LOGICAL I-GOT-THIS mode.

 

STEP 3: LEVERAGE

Ok if you have got this far, you are pretty amazing.  It took me some time and many bad days to get this far.

So you’ve PAUSED, offered yourself some words of support. Now what?

LEVERAGEVictor Frankl in his very moving book ‘Man’s search for meaning’ wrote about his experiences in an Auschwitz concentration camp.  He speaks of how we have a choice, even in the worst situations imaginable on earth, those men and women that chose a positive outlook and reframed their situation were able to live and survive extreme hardship.

 

Leverage is reframing a bad situation into one that can offer us an opportunity for growth.

I am now using this with our boys and looked at what I say to them.

Instead of: ‘That will teach you a lesson or serves you right’

I now pause and say: ‘Well this is an opportunity for growth’.

They are fed up of hearing it but I have read that through repetition, the things we say as parents have been shown to affect the future self-esteem of our child.  Subconsciously, our dialogue, be it positive or negative, will become our child’s inner self-talk.  This is a huge opportunity to make an empowering difference to our future generations.

 

 We are now reframing ‘you are bad and deserve to be taught a lesson’

to

‘Mistakes happen, that’s ok, it is an opportunity for us to grow’.

 

I failed many times and I still do, but I feel I am moving forward as  I can pause for longer and react less and reflect more.

 

 

Thank you for reading,  I aim to bring value to you through sharing new information, knowledge and my experiences.
 
SHARE, COMMENT  and  LIKE
 
if you would like to help me spread the word and  make a difference.

 

Even if all you can manage is to press that PAUSE button you are almost there.

 

Good Luck and Keep Going.

It takes a lot of work and time but I know you and I can do this.


Are you having a bad day? I have one word for you : Leverage

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Robin Sharma, a leader in personal mastery, eloquently speaks of Leverage and in one word has transformed my attitude to bad days.       

Leverage,  defined as  ‘To use for maximum advantage”   has enabled me to now reframe a bad or unfavourable situation from:

 

Why ME ?

to

What can I learn from this ?

 

And now this isn’t easy and it takes a great deal of work but I can tell you that its work that’s worth doing.  I have constructed a 3 step plan for myself every time something bad happens.

So what changed? Well I started writing these steps on the back of my hand to remind me and well to live life means to experience the bad with the good so the ‘bad’ was still there I just didn’t see it as ‘bad’ but an opportunity.

 

 ‘Having a Bad day? Try my 3 step plan’

 

Have a read and do take a moment to comment, let me know what you think.  I’m trying to patiently reinforce it with our boys  and there is the challenge right there…

 

To ask an 11 year old to PAUSE and REFLECT and LEVERAGE  before he clobbers his 7 year old brother for destroying his art work… ok work in progress.  I’ll keep trying.

 

Thank you for reading,  I aim to bring value to you through sharing new information, knowledge and my experiences.
 
SHARE, COMMENT  and  LIKE
 
if you would like to help me spread the word and  make a difference.

 

 

Photo by Gerd Altmann on Pexels.com